Turtle signs

Well...I wrote a really cool blog about finding signs in grief but I'm too irritated to re-wrtie it all :) 

The gist is that even though we grieve, and it's totally fine to, we have to make sure not to stay slumped all the time. One of the joys of children are memories. The other moms I know who have lost children in the last few years all look for "signs" from their kid. Mine are turtles. Usually I search out turtles to remember Jax but other times I'm gifted one or see one in nature and it brings a smile to my face. 

I called Jax, "Turtle" since before his birth and will always cherish turtles because of him. The point is not to idolize or replace your loved one with an object but to remember that person through the object. I become guilty of holding on too much to an item. I don't want anything to happen to his baby blanket (that has turtles on it) and threaten the lives of people if they damage it. But everyone and then I have to remind myself, or the angel on my shoulder does, that even if something would happen to one of my turtles or his stuff, I'll be fine. He is always with me no matter what. 

We decided on a name for our land that will be in iron above our property gate. We thought hard on who to recognize Jax and one day be able to use the land to help others. Corey thought of "Turtle Run" and I immediately loved it. I pray that we can use the land we have to help children and families and always look around for Jax's signs of turtles.