Comfort Zone

Corey and I have said from the beginning of Jax’s journey with Hurlers that we are meant to act because of this. We had gotten in a routine already within two years of marriage and one year of having a child. God shook our world like one shakes a snow globe trying to see the beauty that settles at the bottom.

We were comfortable.

Corey has a great job, we don't worry about finances, we bought our dream house, we had a son, and we were talking of expanding our family.

Now it's not to say that God didn't like all of the above, Or that He thought we shouldn't have it. I believe that God knew we could handle what was to come. Sometimes I wish that wasn't true.

One day we are any other family, I had driven Jax and myself down to my parents’ for my mother’s 60th birthday. Corey had to stay back for work. And we had plans to meet the next day in Indianapolis for a doctor’s appointment that we thought was regarding Jax's spine issue.

I can relive that next day over and over again in my head. Mom came with me to help with Jax and then she planned on coming home with us for a few days. Little did we know she would stay for two weeks after the news we got.

I'll write about what was said and our gut wrenching emotions at another time. I want to talk about the 180 degree shift that took place within 24 hrs.

There are always “what ifs” or “should haves” that stare at you in the mirror of time. I should have taken more pictures of the young cousins together at mom and dad’s. I should have relished the last time I thought Jax was healthy. I should have…

I know I could go on and on for every day of my life in this way but it's pointless. One day we were oblivious and the next was shock. God used that day, July 30th 2014, to change our lives, shake us up, and yank us out of our comfort zone.

We drove home crying, speechless. My mom rode with me and called family. She called my dad to head up to South Bend and we told Corey's parents we wanted them to come too. We needed family around us. We needed love and support and we didn't know that this would carry on through today.

I've debated on how to write about our future. We really don't know timing but we have been praying and letting God lead us. We understand that He will let us make choices on our own but we wholeheartedly want to be with God in our life.

Corey and I went down a month ago to try and buy some land that we want to use to honor Jax and God. We were able to purchase it and will be combining it with some other family land to build not only buildings but a future and purpose.

No matter where we end up or stay, God can use us. The comforting things about zones are that they can be always surveyed and moved.